Day 2

Today my contradictions weighed heavy on my mind...

My love for mornings VS drooped eyelids and contempt for a late-rising sun.

My burdens and stressors VS my determination to be a light.

My craving of companionship VS my fear of losing independence.

My practice of gratitude VS listless worry for my troubles and those of my loved ones.

My confidence in the health of my body VS reflections that argue this form isn't fit enough.

My desire to see my value beheld in the eyes of others VS the certainty that I am proud of the woman I have become.

As I write today, the skies outside my window are an odd compilation of sun-filled blue sky and clouds dense with suspended rain. In one moment it is warm and bright, and in the next, shade coats the ground where a storm holds its breath. And then it is sunny again. The wind blows the weather to be just so. One moment a bright high, and the next a dull low.

It is an oddly fitting metaphor I think.

Until this moment, I feared my emotions had grown too stark, almost polar in their difference. Some moments of happy and some moments of heartache. But perhaps this is just what it's like at a change of seasons.

Perhaps this is merely the wind in my soul.